The day I accidentally discovered my Superpower
‘Has anybody ever told you that you’re intense?’ Words that I recall to this day from an HR manager at a job interview years ago. It’s incredible how a fleeting moment in your life can stick with you forever.
I remember feeling stunned by the question: ‘What does he mean, intense?’, I thought to myself for days following this fateful encounter. (I can’t remember what I answered, but I was offered the job — which, in the end I didn’t accept — so it must have done the trick.)
A trigger for reflection
At the time of that interview I was young and inexperienced, suffering from a typical confidence crisis that plagues women (in particular) under the age of 30 — and sometimes well into the years beyond. How could I possibly be ‘intense’ when I could barely muster the courage to face this army of interviewers and put my best face forward?
For many weeks afterwards I mulled over the interviewer’s question. (Another one of my characteristics, which he apparently failed to identify, is hyper-sensitivity.) In the end I came to the conclusion that I may very well be intense. Only I wouldn’t classify it as such. Some of the words that came to mind then, and which I’ve heard a lot since, are: full of life, energetic, determined.
However, as I reflect now on that question I realize there was at least some truth to the interviewer’s observation, even if he might have been gentler in his means of expression: it’s my unstoppable energy that propelled me to chase my dreams with a fervor, often stumbling into start-up situations that require enormous momentum to get things off the ground.
Somehow through a negative framing of this characteristic I had inadvertently stumbled upon my Superpower.
A Superpower unveiled
Superpowers are the unique strengths we each bring to the world. They are what give us our edge: think, Wonder Woman and her superhuman strength and speed, or Luke Skywalker and the Force. They are your best attributes; the traits that equip you to make a positive difference. (For a good read on Superpowers check out this blog post.)
As with any form of power, our Superpowers come with a downside (…Darth Vader, anyone?!) and when accidentally overused or employed to serve a selfish means they can bring harm to ourselves, others, or the world around us.
For instance, someone with a Superpower for analysis may get so enamored with the detail that she fails to see the bigger picture and misses key insight when making an important decision. Or someone with a Superpower for caring may give so much to others that he himself gets sick. In my case, when I overuse my Superpower, it can be alienating to people with a quieter disposition or lead to exhaustion, usually in the form of a crippling migraine.
Use the Force like Luke Skywalker
This downside to Superpowers, if identified and gently brought to our attention, may actually give us the key to unlock our biggest strengths. Think of all those ‘development discussions’ you’ve had or situations in which someone helpfully — or perhaps even spitefully — pointed out a so-called area of improvement. More often than not, I’ve found these to be directly linked to an overuse of my Superpower.
As much as it hurt to be on the receiving end of what I felt to be criticism from that interviewer all those years ago, his question triggered in me greater awareness about the impact my Superpower can have on the world, for better or worse. By recognizing the potential downside of my Superpower, I have been better able to focus on using this force for good — and to recognize when the impact on others is not what is intended in my heart.
Luckily, over the years I have learned to fine tune my Superpower. While I am still tempted to overdo it at times (as those who know me well will attest), nowadays I am better able to step back and park it for a while when I sense overdrive come on.
Having said that, I am writing this post during a transatlantic flight on my way home after two weeks jam-packed with work commitments — and right off the back of a major milestone for the Executive Master programme I am completing in parallel. (Old Superpowers die hard…) So maybe sometimes it’s not such a bad thing to be ‘intense’ after all!
(Feature photo: gratisography / Ryan McGuire)
